My boyfriend keeps letters from previous relationships

My boyfriend keeps letters from previous relationships

How does my boyfriend keep letters from their ex-girlfriends?

My boyfriend stated that the envelop from their ex was at storage space and which he read it once more. But later on I’d a sense he didn’t away throw it and I also ended up being appropriate he kept it. This hits me personally as strange because he’s got disposed of every one of the letters and cards i’ve ever offered him. He stated he’s no good explanation to help keep them, and that he does not keep letters and cards from individuals. Therefore, how come he keep letters from their ex girlfriends? Not just one but from 2 various girls.

Then how come the letters didn’t make it in the trash, if it really didn’t really mean anything if he says that things like this don’t matter? Rather it had been set aside carefully, it has additionally happened with images from their ex girlfriends, and I also simply learned that the envelop has a photo of their ex.

I am aware if individuals would you like to keep images but letters?, even though its disrespectful if you ask me, but during the time that is same feel just like if somebody has got to keep photos or letters from ex-girlfriends which they nevertheless are hanging on to one thing.

We don’t know very well what the letters suggest to him precisely. He constantly informs me we don’t trust him, but he keeps things such as this from me personally. Trust and honesty goes both methods. We don’t keep things from him.

I’ve been considering means on the best way to confront him about that. We’ve been dating for nearly 36 months, i simply had a feeling he didn’t toss the envelop away that day.

Reaction:

Individuals keep letters and images for many different reasons. But, mostly because individuals keep such mementos simply because they restore unique memories and unique emotions (realise why does partner communicate with an ex).

And maintaining letters or images of an ex doesn’t mean that is necessary the man you’re seeing really loves you any less. It would likely simply suggest which he likes the memory of just how he felt in those days.

And simply since you are dating somebody does maybe perhaps not imply that see your face has to throw in the towel all their memories for the past. Asking you to definitely offer up their keepsakes to be able to show you respect just isn’t being extremely respectful.

Therefore, our most useful advice is to not “confront” the man you’re seeing in regards to the situation. Contemplating a discussion being a confrontation frequently turns it as a conflict. An easy method to take into account this nagging problem is to look at it as a discussion—a conversation where your objective is always to realize his standpoint without attempting to judge him or alter their behavior (see talk about issues).

Without reacting in a way that makes him feel ashamed or fearful of your reaction, you may find that understanding how he feels will bring you closer together if you try to understand why those past memories are so special to him. That which you hear may harm your emotions or make us feel insufficient in someways, you can’t alter their previous memories. And if you attempt to know exactly how he seems concerning the situation, he will likely you will need to understand situation from your perspective. Such a real https://datingranking.net/oasis-dating-review/ sharing of emotions can help produce greater closeness and understanding, if you’re able to figure out how to maintain your anxiety and worries from being released in hostile and/or protective way.

And often relationships work most useful when partners feel close and safe, but additionally allow one another to possess a feeling of unique identity. Relationships often don’t work when individuals feel threatened and attempt to get a grip on areas of their partner’s behavior, aspects which folks are entitled to—such as memories of these previous and keepsakes which are very important in their mind.